SQUIRREL ABDUCTION SHOCKS SANDCRUMB BAY!

SOURCES SAY! The town of Sandcrumb Bay is in complete chaos after the bizarre abduction of Reggie, the town's most confident squirrel. SOURCES SAY! Reggie, known for his overconfidence and his always-present hot sauce on his whiskers, vanished without a trace this morning. SOURCES SAY! The sheriff's department has launched an investigation, but their one working siren is currently in the shop, making the search even more complicated. SOURCES SAY!

SOURCES SAY! Reggie's delivery driver boss, Dougie Mozzarella, insists he had nothing to do with the abduction, but the town is not buying it. SOURCES SAY! "Reggie was just doing his thing, boss!" said Dougie, who delivered pizza boxes with Lava Lou's Hot Sauce taped to the lids. SOURCES SAY! "He was always getting into trouble, but I swear he wasn't taking anyone hostage!" Despite his protests, the townsfolk are convinced there's more to the story. SOURCES SAY!

SOURCES SAY! The mayor, Bartholomew Puddle, has called for calm and asked everyone to stay out of the town's pay phone to avoid spreading rumors. SOURCES SAY! "We've got to keep the town calm, and we've got to find Reggie before the gulls start spreading rumors!" The sheriff's department, meanwhile, is trying to track down the missing squirrel with the help of Deputy Hank Noodleman, who has his own theories about what could have happened. SOURCES SAY! Every misunderstanding was a misunderstanding!